Cheney Finally Snaps
Of course, the official story is that the accident was Whittington's fault (these are the only people in the world who blame a hunting accident on the victim and still call each other "friends"), after Whittington apparently "came up from behind the vice president and the other hunter and didn't signal them or indicate to them or announce himself," according to the owner of the ranch where they were hunting. What was Whittington trying to do? Cause the mutated mass of cyborg electronics and organs culled from human cadavers that passes for Cheney's heart to stop beating altogether?
Sorry, I just don't buy it. I can just imagine what really happened. Cheney, dressed in hunters fatigues, hidden in a blind, living again in his mind the time when he could kill openly (no, Cheney never served in the military, I'm referring to his stint as Halliburton CEO), drunk with the memory of the smell of blood, stalks his quarry with precision. Unwittingly intruding on his friend's orgy of bloodlust, Whittington casually asks Dick whether he still thinks that leaking a CIA agent's identity was worth it, causing Cheney to miss his target. Cheney, his heart pounding in his ears, lets out an animalistic roar, and turns his weapon on poor Harry Whittington, actually sitting back on his haunches and howling as Harry bleeds into the ground.
Just sounds more plausible, doesn't it?
Categories: Humor, Politics